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In The Doghouse: The Legend Of The Golden Collar

One day Batty was out playing fetch with her dogs. There was Leroy, who was the oldest (and wisest) of all the dogs. He was a border collie. There was Noodle, who was smart and sassy. And there was Violet, who was young and bouncy "I got it, I got it!" yelled Violet, a Westie. She leaped, but then Wolf grabbed the ball from her and he buried it. Then he sat on it. Then he dug it up and buried deeper. He did this many times until he found... a door! "Hey everybody, look what I found!" he yelled. All of the dogs stampeded over. "Ow," said Beegin, Batty's guinea pig. He slowly limped over." Hey, let's dig it up! Then we can see what it is," said Paws. "Let's do it!" yelled Snowy and Sledder, the husky twins. "I don't think..." said Noodle the poodle. But before he could finish, he got covered in dirt! One hour later, the dogs had uncovered... the front of a doghouse? "Hmm, I do not have a clue what this says", said Noodle. "I'll get some cleaning wipes", said Batty. She went into her house. A second later she came out with some cleaning wipes. After Batty had scrubbed the dirt off the nameplate, Noodle read what it said. "Snu... Snuff... Snuffles!" said Noodle. "Snuffles... wow" said all the dogs. "Who's Snuffles?" asked Batty. "You've never heard of Snuffles?" said Violet. "Allow me", said Leroy. "Snuffles was a very rich dog. He only ate the best dog food, and when he wanted something, he would get it. So when he wanted a underground doghouse, it was built. I never thought it was in our own backyard! And one day he asked for a golden collar that would give him magic powers. So it was made for him. The golden collar was so bright he could see throgh walls, and he could FLY! Then one day he fell in love with a... wait a minute, the collar made him strong. He could knock down buildings with one paw! Anyway he fell in love with a girl dog and they had puppies. Snuffles put away his golden collar so he could play with the puppies. Then an underground village was built for him, and soon it was abandoned. But the collar still shines on!" "What color was Snuffles?" asked Batty. "Oh, just brown and white. But the collar made him have a glossy coat," said Leroy. "How do you know all of this stuff?" inquired Batty. "Oh, puppy tales really," said Leroy modestly. Meanwhile, Noodle, who had realized that a golden collar would be worth a lot, was screaming his pink poodle curls off. "Gold collar, gold collar, GOLD COLLAR!!!!!" he yelled. "I'll get him," said Mittens, the white cat with grey paws and a temper. He jumped into a tree ( Mittens, not Noodle) and aimed for his target: Noodle, who was still yelling his puffy tail off. Mittens sprang, claws out, but he flew straight past Noodle... and landed on Beegin instead! "Ouch," said Beegin, who had been squished for the second time that day. "I'll take care of it," said Wolf, a big dog who claimed he was part wolf. "Gold collar, gold collar, gold coll-" CHOMP! Wolf bit Noodle's fluffy paw. " Lets go in before he starts screaming again," suggested Leroy. "OK," said everybody. They all jumped in, but first Batty told Paws, Leroy's mother, to stay in the yard. Then Batty jumped in.

Beegin, whose distinctive orange and white fur was blowing, was riding on Mittens's back. Then, Mittens went in the air! "I got you Beegin!" screeched a frantic Batty. She grabbed Beeegin, but when she tried to grab Mittens, she missed, and he went flying! He was waving his paws around, trying to get a grip on something, and he did: Wolf's ear! Mittens pulled his paw back and licked a red liquid off. The red liquid tasted foul. Then they all came to a stop. Batty put a bandage on Wolf's sore ear. Batty picked up Wolf (which was not easy) and carried him. "I need to stop stealing Violet's Doggie Yum-Yums," said Wolf when he saw how hard it was to pick himself up. "You steal my Doggie Yum- Yums?" said Violet. "I'd better not answer that," said Wolf.

After that conversation, they had found a door! They tried to open it, but it would not budge! "I think it might be stuck," said Batty, who had read a lot of adventure books. Then they saw... a sewer rat! "Hiss... ROWL!" said Mittens. "Squeak!" squeaked the startled rat. Then Batty noticed that the rat was skinny. "Hey, Mr. Sewer Rat, if you get that door unstuck, we will give you food." "Squeak?" The sewer rat pointed at Beegin. The rat bared it's yellow teeth. "No, not that food, but better food," said Batty. The rat undid the door. Batty tossed it a piece of cake. They opened the door and went in. The rat gobbled down it's cake. It burped.

Batty and all of the dogs had expected a whole underground village but all they found was a room, probably once a living room. Noodle fainted. Mittens whacked him. Noodle woke up. Then they all looked up. There, all yellow and shiny, hung the golden collar! Meanwhile, the rat was telling other rats about the food. "Squeak, squeak, squeak," said the rats, which in Rat, meant, "Food, food, food." "I got it!" said Wolf as he grabbed the collar from it's spot. "Hooray!" said everyone. "But the tag says Snuffles and it has a different address" said Batty. "Oh, no," said Violet. "Good thing I brought my dog collar kit," said Batty. Soon they ahd a dog tag with the right name and address. 'There we go," said Batty as she took of Wolf's old collar and fastened on the new one. Just then, the rats came in. "Squeak" demanded the rats. (In Rat, "Squeak" means food.) Batty looked in her backpack. "Oh, pleeeease don't tell me you don't have any more cake," said Leroy. "No," said Batty. All the rats barred their yellow teeth and pointed at Beegin. "No, no, you can't have that food!" yelled Batty frantially, "Beegin, run!!!" "Jump on my back!" yelled Mittens. Beegin climbed up Mitten's leg and got on his back. "You go and find somewhere safe. We'll fight off the rats," said Batty.

"A door!" yelled Beegin. Mittens saw what Beegin meant. He tried to open it but it was locked. "Maybe it's loose," said Beegin, not giving up hope. Mittens tried to open the door with his claws. "Um, we're surrounded," said Beegin. Mittens looked. Beegin was right! They were surrounded by rats! The rats' torn-up ears were flat against their heads. Their dirty-grey fur was bristling and making them look huge despite their scrawny size. Their yellow teeth were sharp, and their yellow eyes were blazing. Mittens tries to look as scary, but it's hard to be menacing if nobody can see your eyes blazing or your ears flat against your head. Anyway, he stood his black-and-white tail up, his white fur bristling, his grey paw's claws sharp. Batty and everybody were fighting off the rats. " Grr," growled Noodle.

Just then, Wolf remember something Leroy had said. "He could knock down buildings with one paw." Suddenly, the troublesome door opened. Two mouths pulled Mittens and Beegin into the room. THUD! Wolf stomped his paw on the ground, and rats went flying! Rats flew in all directions, waving their little arms wildly. "Squeak," came a voice. Wolf looked around. A rat was looking at them! "Grr," growled Wolf. The rat squeaked, and ran away.

*** Batty's mom was very suprised when the kitchen rocked, and a pot landed on her head! Wolf howled in triumph, and then remembered something. "Beegin!" he exlaimed. Everybody went into the small room. "Th-thank you. You saved our lives," said Beegin. "But of course," said a voice as smooth a voice as smooth as the buttermilk that Mittens drank every day. The voice belonged to a golden dog as bright as the collar itself. "We could never leave anybody to the rats. That would be cruel." "Yip yap," yelped a second voice, a small puppy. "What are your names?" asked Mittens. "I am Treasure Chest," said the golden dog. "But you can call me Treasure." "Pleased to meet you, Treasure," said Beegin. "And this is Lucky," said Treasure, nuzzling the puppy gently. "See that white spot on her chest? Does'nt it look like a Star?" "It does." said Mittens, looking at Lucky's chest.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" yelled Leroy, as everybody came in. Wolf stared at Treasure. "It's okay," said Beegin, "Treasure saved us from the rats. If it was not for her, we would be rat food by now." Noodle, who had become quite dirty after the battle with the rats asked Treasure, "how did you get so clean?", staring at Treasure's golden fur. "I knew I would have to explain this to you eventually," said Treasure, unlocking a high-tech security system. "This is my grooming machine," she said pulling out a small cube. "That's your grooming machine?!" asked Noodle in disbelief, looking at it. "Yes," said Treasure, pushing a button that glowed.

The cube quickly unfolded and became a large machine! "Throw this mud on me," said Treasure, giving Noodle some mud. Noodle threw the mud on Treasure, turning her golden coat to brown. Treasure hopped on the machine. "First, I choose my setting," said Treasure, as a small panel with a few buttons slide out. She pushed the button that said: NAIL CLIP, WASH, and COMB. Then she pushed the button that said:PERFUME. Then another panel slide out. It had a choice of perfumes. Treasure pushed LAVENDER. Then she pushed start and got in and disappeared into the machine. Beegin poked his head in the machine and pushed a purple button. He ducked as a pair of scissors snipped off a little of his fur.

"I want to see what's behind that door,"said Mittens. "Arf, arf, yip, yap!" yipped Lucky. Mittens fiddled with the door. Treasure shook her head from inside the machine, even though no one could see her. Mittens opened the door, and hundreds of colorful cats leapt out!! Beegin was petrified. "Catnandcatclanterritorycatclantearkittiesintdwo! Goaway!" said a fast-talking pink cat. "Are these cave-cats or somethin'?" muttered Beegin scornfully as a purple cat leaped on him. He bit it and it ran away. Then he reliazed that it was only a kitten. Then he saw he was still holding on to the kitten's tail. "SSSSSSOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Beegin.

Remembering how Batty had dealt with the rats, Mittens said,"we have food." "FOOD?!" said all the cats in surprise. "Well, at least somebody has proper grammar here," said Mittens. The cats accepted the offer. They came swarming out. "Let me see your den," said Mittens. The cats cleared the way for him. Mittens walked in and saw a mother cat trying to get her kittens out of the friendly looking room. Then Mittens remembered. "Guys!" he yelled. "I think I found the nursery." Then he led the kittens out with his tail. The mother cat sighed with relief. Then he went back in to get a painting that he had seen of Snuffles. The kittens followed him. He carefully grasped the painting in his jaws, trying hard not to bite. He went back, the kittens still following him. "It might as well be that there's a string on my tail and their tied to it," muttered Mittens to himself.

"Treasure, could you come. . . with us?" asked Wolf quietly,"and Lucky, too?"When Treasure still stared at him, he said, "there's a lot of food." "Why, of course!" said Treasure."Such a handsome young dog, and your pack softened the CatClanCatBand. Why would I not go? But... what about my machine?" "Batty could put it in her backpack. It's waterproof. "We want to come too! We want to come too!" chanted the cats. "CatBandCatClantearkittyintwoifdogpacknotbringusupthere." said the same pink cat. "Okay, okay," said Mittens,"I'll build something to carry all of you. and you," he said, looking at the pink cat, "need to learn English." "Mefine. MeCatBandCatClanleader. CatClanCatBandfine. Me fine, CatBandCatClanfine." he answered.

Mittens quickly built an airplane, for he was a cat of many talents. the whole CatBandCatClan got in. "By the way, what's your name?" asked Mittens. "Pinkster," said the pink cat. He was a muscular pink tom, he had long pink fur and blue eyes. His tail was a short stump; he had lost it to the pack of sewer rats. He was grumpy, and he was the leader of the CatBandCatClan. "Metearkittyintwoifmenotgetfrontseat,"said Pinkster. "Uh, yeah, we've already established the 'tear kitties in two' thing. You can sit next to me. I'm the only one who knows how to drive this thing." said Mittens.

The kittens huddled closer to their mother. Mittens pushed a button, and a cute T.V. show came on. Mittens pushed another button, and the engine came on and the airplane was covered by a roof. The kittens huddled even closer to their mother, despite the silly T.V. show. Mittens put on his flight goggles. The airplane, with all the cats in it, easily flew up Then everybody came up, althogh the cats were heavy. But it was Treasure and Lucky's turn last. Beegin was safely perched on Treasure's back. When they got up all they could see was water!

"We're in Batty's swimming pool!!" said Beegin, but it sounded like "glug, glug,glug, glug, glug." Treasure, who could not swim and could not hear Beegin, cried,"Help!!" It also sounded like "GLUG!" Beegin tried to pull them up, but it did not work. After all, he was a guinea pig, and she, a large golden dog. Then Beegin remembered the rope Batty always kept beside the pool. He swam over to the rope, grabbed it and thrust it to Treasure, and asked her and Lucky to hold onto it. Treasure grasped the rope in her jaws, and Lucky did the same. Beegin tied the rope to Batty's water slide and turned on the wave machine. Treasure and Lucky, still holding onto the rope, went flying. They landed, wet and tired, on the diving board.

"So this is what 'up there' looks like," said Treasure. "What happened to you?"asked Wolf, rushing in. Pinkster batted the water and pulled his paw back. "We would have drowned, but Beegin saved us by tying a rope to the water slide and turning on the wave machine."said Treasure. Wolf whispered something in Batty's ear. "Beegin, because of your heroic rescue," said Batty,"we have decided to give you the golden collar." She took the collar off Wolf's neck and fastened it onto Beegin's waist as a belt. "Thank you, but the collar is better for Wolf than me," said Beegin. "Well, okay, then"said Batty, pulling the collar off Beegin's waist and fastening it onto Wolf's neck. Batty's mom came in.

"Batty!! Where have you been?! I was worried sick!" Batty rolled her eyes."Can we keep 'em?"she asked. Treasure, Lucky, and all the cats stared up at Batty's mom. "Sure," she said.

THE END**

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EPOLOGUE

All of Batty's dogs used the machine, and then went out for pizza. "You know, being a kitty is not so bad. There are nice uniforms," said Pinkster, jingling the little bell on his newly aquired collar. He was finaly able to speak slowly. "I love being up here instead of that dark musty place," said Greenie, a small green kitten. "Yip yap arf arf," agreed Lucky. "We all do," said Treasure. "We all do."